Before getting married, I wasn’t much for titles.  Don’t label me.  Don’t pin me down.  I wanted to think of myself as independent and a free spirit.  Yet, somehow, that seemed to change overnight without my knowing.

One week after my wedding, I moved to Central America.  Within seven days, I went from what I thought was having a clue to none at all.  No work, no friends, no language, no tv, no internet.  Whatever will I do?

As I began meeting people, at least the few who spoke English, I found myself begrudgingly answering the dreaded “What do you do?” with “I’m Chris’ wife.”  It felt hollow.

I was lonely and I was lost.  It’s not an easy transition to married life, let alone an entirely new life.  I’m still figuring it out.  This cross-cultural experience has had me scrambling for identity–something familiar, something I can point to define me or even as my own.  Yet, each time I reach for it, I seem to come up empty-handed.  It’s rough having your world ripped out from under you.  But it also has you seeing things for what they are.  May I not lose sight of what is real and what I truly need.

May my vow today be:

• I will choose to connect with my Creator
• I will make time to be active in some way
• I will forgive myself when I don’t do the above
• I will slow down for what matters without feeling guilty
• I will speak up for myself
• I will not make excuses
• I will spend dedicated time with my son
• I will tell my husband what I like about him
• I will discover what truly brings me joy
• I will be disciplined for my own sake
• I will enjoy the good gift of wine and chocolate
• I will let go and stop thinking I have control
• I will stop wishing for what once was and embrace what is
• I will choose to believe that the Lord rejoices in me more than I do in my son

Photo by Jess Koehler     https://www.jesskoehler.com/