Before getting married, I wasn’t much for titles. Don’t label me. Don’t pin me down. I wanted to think of myself as independent and a free spirit. Yet, somehow, that seemed to change overnight without my knowing.
One week after my wedding, I moved to Central America. Within seven days, I went from what I thought was having a clue to none at all. No work, no friends, no language, no tv, no internet. Whatever will I do?
As I began meeting people, at least the few who spoke English, I found myself begrudgingly answering the dreaded “What do you do?” with “I’m Chris’ wife.” It felt hollow.
I was lonely and I was lost. It’s not an easy transition to married life, let alone an entirely new life. I’m still figuring it out. This cross-cultural experience has had me scrambling for identity–something familiar, something I can point to define me or even as my own. Yet, each time I reach for it, I seem to come up empty-handed. It’s rough having your world ripped out from under you. But it also has you seeing things for what they are. May I not lose sight of what is real and what I truly need.
May my vow today be:
- I will choose to connect with my Creator
- I will make time to be active in some way
- I will forgive myself when I don’t do the above
- I will slow down for what matters without feeling guilty
- I will speak up for myself
- I will not make excuses
- I will spend dedicated time with my son
- I will tell my husband what I like about him
- I will discover what truly brings me joy
- I will be disciplined for my own sake
- I will enjoy the good gift of wine and chocolate
- I will let go and stop thinking I have control
- I will stop wishing for what once was and embrace what is
- I will choose to believe that the Lord rejoices in me more than I do in my son
Photo by Jess Koehler https://www.jesskoehler.com/