Boys & Marriage: Vows

My husband recently shared with me a friend’s post on fighting for his wife.  A week later, I’m still moved by Timothy Willard’s courage and commitment, as well as his wife’s.  (Read here:

When I was single, nay, most of my marriage, I’ve had a selfish view of love.  I wanted it to be about me: what I need and what I want.  Therefore, I’d been riding through most of the marriage based on emotion.  Now, I’m finally beginning to understand when elders say, “Love is a decision.”

Before I was married, I was certain I was the perfect wife.  Oh, how quickly I have fallen.  Fallen into routine, pride, selfishness, unforgiveness and excuses.  This rut creates the deception that I can live without humility and forgiveness each day.  As the years pass, it’s easy to assume that nothing will change.

So Willard’s post has me thinking about my own vows.  I thought as I planned for and said my wedding vows that I understood the meaning of what I was saying.  Yet, over the years, I’ve focused more on how my husband is serving/treating me versus the vow I made to him.  As I read the charge our pastor gave me on that day, I see how little I really grasped about making a lifetime promise.

Cindy, Chris has chosen you, loves you.  This means you have power over him…but use your powers for good and not evil.  Chris may doubt God’s love for him.  He may doubt if he has what it takes to be a good husband, a good father.  He may become distant, tired and disagreeable.  It is the he’ll need you to be the hands and voice of God.  Pray for him, encourage him, love him and help him find his way back to the heart of God.  And remind him he is the son of the King who bled for him.  In serving your husband, you’ll discover your true beauty.                                                                                        – Octavio Cesar Martinez

May my vow today be to:

  • Be a better and more patient listener
  • Be more concerned about how your day went than to tell you about mine
  • Be more discipline to draw near versus hide or escape
  • Be an encourager of you
  • Be a praying wife
  • Point you towards the man you want to be and remind you who you are
  • Choose to forgive more quickly
  • Remind you that I have chosen you
  • Discover my true beauty in serving you

Photo by Jeremy Yates


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