My Little Man,

I hold you close to my heart as I know the blessing and miracle you are. Your dad and I have waited four long years, wondering if we would ever meet you.  Here you are, God’s miracle, without medical intervention, growing day by day.  I am reminded, though my heart has longed for you, that you are not mine.  It is not easy to do but I will promise to hold you loosely.

Fear. Control.  My dear son, these are two traits of mine that are being challenged more than ever.  The truth is, I’ve never truly had control but I certainly had the illusion of it, more so when I lived in my homeland.

You, my boy, will be born here.  My prayer is that you know immediately that you can control nothing.  You may be more aware of that before you can speak but you may quickly forget when you develop your strong will.   Yes, I need to prepare myself for that now, since your father and I are both blessed with the same will.  The point is, son, only our God is in control. May your faith in Him be BIG, my son.  May you walk in utter trust–knowing you have nothing to fear because He has you, more than I ever could.

When you know you have no control, you must fully trust.  With utter trust, you have nothing to fear.