When I began an interest in writing, many folks asked, “What will you write about? Who is your audience?” I let this paralyze me. The most helpful advice was from another author, “Write for yourself.” These simple three words are what started me to share my writing this year. My hope is that as I process through my own journey that some of my lessons would be useful to you.
Before intimately sharing all my life in marriage, I thought most addictions fell under the “substance” category. Of course, there are so many more addictions–spending, eating, gossip, lying, work, laziness, apathy, anxiety, anger….
Either way, we don’t like to talk about addictions, let alone admit our own. Webster summarizes the definition best, “(1) a strong and harmful need to regularly have something (such as a drug) or do something (such as gamble); (2) an unusually great interest in something or a need to do or have something.”
I find the latter definition most interesting. I can’t say I’ve spent much time reflecting on my need to do or have something. Yet as I’ve been writing daily, I’ve been more aware of my responses and reactions. Recently, I’ve observed that when things don’t go “my way”, I get upset at someone or the situation. It may just been an internal response but nonetheless, it’s anger or frustration.
As my parents always wisely taught, “anger is a response to a deeper emotion.” Again, I don’t stop and think about what is below the surface. But I see anger hiding a deeper sense of fear or insecurity.
So if my response to not getting my way is anger–is my addiction selfishness, fear, insecurity or anger?
What is your addiction?